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- Quidproquo
- Irregular
- 154 posts
- Reputation 59
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- We all want something: QuidProQuo.
Jan 15 2015 6:43 am
Inspired by @ExcellionTheElocutioner's post
#CanadianHelpDesk
Cronic stress? Call Kelacopter!
Debt to the shadowing? Dial "D"jango for your depression!
Poor networth/status? Phone Scarface you cokka-roach!
Divorced? alliance-less? lonely? 1-900-can-nada! (remember it's CANada not CAN'Tnada!!!)
Aging? VideoChat with Voldemort! You'll feel better after your retinas heal!
Death of a flagship? Your Space Station got taken? Help is on the way!!! Your moose riding mountie is here for you!!!
!WARNING! DISCLAIMER !WARNING!
Side effects of talking to Kelac may include but is not limited to:
1. Frequent headaches, jaw clenching or pain
2. Gritting, grinding teeth
3. Stuttering or stammering
4. Tremors, trembling of lips, hands
5. Neck ache, back pain, muscle spasms
6. Light headedness, faintness, dizziness
7. Ringing, buzzing or “popping sounds
8. Frequent blushing, sweating
9. Cold or sweaty hands, feet
10. Dry mouth, problems swallowing
11. Frequent colds, infections, herpes sores
12. Rashes, itching, hives, “goose bumps”
13. Unexplained or frequent “allergy” attacks
14. Heartburn, stomach pain, nausea
15. Excess belching, flatulence
16. Constipation, diarrhea, loss of control
17. Difficulty breathing, frequent sighing
18. Sudden attacks of life threatening panic
19. Chest pain, palpitations, rapid pulse
20. Frequent urination
21. Diminished hassak ual desire or performance(very common)
22. Excess anxiety, worry, guilt, nervousness
23. Increased anger, frustration, hostility
24. Depression, frequent or wild mood swings
25. Increased or decreased appetite
26. Insomnia, nightmares, disturbing dreams
27. Difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts
28. Trouble learning new information
29. Forgetfulness, disorganization, confusion
30. Difficulty in making decisions
31. Feeling overloaded or overwhelmed
32. Frequent crying spells or suicidal thoughts
33. Feelings of loneliness or worthlessness
34. Little interest in appearance, punctuality
35. Nervous habits, fidgeting, feet tapping
36. Increased frustration, irritability, edginess
37. Overreaction to petty annoyances
38. Increased number of minor accidents
39. Obsessive or compulsive behavior
40. Reduced work efficiency or productivity
41. Lies or excuses to cover up poor work
42. Rapid or mumbled speech
43. Excessive defensiveness or suspiciousness
44. Problems in communication, sharing
45. Social withdrawal and isolation
46. Constant tiredness, weakness, fatigue
47. Frequent use of over-the-counter drugs
48. Weight gain or loss without diet
49. Increased smoking, alcohol or drug use
50. Excessive gambling or impulse buying
The chosen one, savior, and ultimate survivor. Will work for zambooki(coffee+vodka)
- Dissenter
- Irregular
- 84 posts
- Reputation 44
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- I love 26horses Productions
Jan 15 2015 6:48 am
Also, smoking Kelac can cause heart disease, lung cancer, and leave a bad taste in your mouth.
- Cjamieson99
- Respected
- 640 posts
- Reputation 203
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- LET'S GET THOSE TERRORISTS!
Jan 15 2015 6:57 am
Racist thoughts are common and to be expected.
Violent impulses and mispronunciation of words containing the "ou" sound are also believed to be side effects.
Warning: It is very likely that Kelac will attempt to correct the spelling of select words by adding a "u" to them; it is very important not try to fight him on this.
Do not bring up the Imperial or Metric systems.
Kelac! #1 cheater in the game, but you'll never catch me!
- Quidproquo
- Irregular
- 154 posts
- Reputation 59
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Honourable
Dishonourable
- We all want something: QuidProQuo.
Jan 15 2015 7:02 am
The chosen one, savior, and ultimate survivor. Will work for zambooki(coffee+vodka)
26horses Production