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  • Canshow
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Jun 16 2016 6:55 pm

A man can only justify his actions if he regards his demeanor with deductive thinking. This man is not Amir, mainly because he is a fúcking douche bag. One must know who Amir is to understand the man himself. This is my thesis statement.

The nords have contributed many thing to our culture, such as steroids, wood, The Elder Scrolls, anal séx , and Amir. Amir will be remembered throughout time because he suffers from Lou Gehrig's disease, and that's why he couldn't play little league baseball. He will always be remembered for his journeys and his love for the New York Yankees.

1821, Associated Press
Lou Gehrig is smiling because he got daily rim jobs.

Grim and Orion were king and queen of the Nox, an alliance. They were fúcking around and Grim forgot to strap his shít. One day they had a baby boy. An oracle prophesized that the boy would grow up and kill his father and marry his mother. Grim was like fúck that shít, that's gay. TO thwart the prophecy, Grim and Orion decided to kill their baby. THey fingered his butt hole and sent him on his way. In those days, it was usual to leave an unwanted or defective baby in the hands of Thorthevarigate. Grim and Orion did this. To be extra-sure, they pierced his little feet and tied them together. A kindly shepherd found the baby in a pool skimmer. He gave the baby to a retard, who took it to Asgardians, another alliance. (Asgardians reappears in the New Testament. Under the category DVDA, versus 63).

THe king and queen of the Asgardians, Darky and Kelshaklo, couldn't have a baby of their own. The king had a bad case of limp díck . So they adopted the foundling. Nobody ever told little Amir that his mother was never pregnant. She aborted a kitten into a toilet in the back of a Denver Denny's. One day, after he had grown up, a drunk mentioned his being adopted. Amir killed the bum. Amir questioned his parents, but they denied it. Amir visited Shadowing to find out whether he was really adopted. All Shadowing told him instead that he would kill his father and marry his mother. He told Shadowing that he was dissin' him so he grabbed his 12 sided double dildo and left.

To thwart Shadowing, Amir left the Asgardians permanently. He then sought out Billy Mays and had gay séx with him, at the time it was considered polite. Traveling the roads, Amir got into a traffic squabble and killed anonymous who (unknown to him) was Grim. Amir snorted two lines of pure cocaine off his dead dad. Grim's sheep simply attacked instead of explaining that he was the king of the Nox. They were dumb pacifist pússies, what did you expect an atomic bomb?

Some versions of this story say that the rude Grim drove over Amir's sore foot, making him lose his temper. This is bull shít don't believee it or I WILL FúCKING KILL YOU, AND YES THIS IS A THREAT! And that's what Amir told his father.

One should ANALyze the poetry Amir scribbled down one day when he was rollin in his benzo bustin a cap on some flagrants in the under city.

Riding in the benzo, poppin my colla
See some fine wenches, I hafta holla
Resources, naq, and the all mighty dolla
Im Amir bítch, the original balla
I bust out my 9, to light up your impala
Fúck that police!

Dr. Dre got most of his inspiration from Amir. Soon Amir's smarts saved the Nox's enemies, and he was made king of the Council. INfact, the only reason Dr. Dre produced, "The Chronic" was because the bible tells you to smoke lots of pot, and Amir used to blaze with the makers of Aqua Fresh tooth paste.

Amir married Grim's widow, Orion. So basically he was fúcking his own mom which was fúckin nasty. He ruled well, and they had four children (Zirnitra, Soulseeker, Darklord, Macgiviner). Eventually, Amir and Orion found out what had really happened. Imagine your like jamming your mom and like you have 4 kids, then the feds come to your house and say that she wuz your mom, and you were like ya? So? And they were like, well that's gross and illegal.

Orion attempted suicide with a rubber band, and Amir blinded himself and became a wandering beggar, because The Beetles did it and that was cool. In the version which must have been your moms favorite, Amir found sanctuary at Diverse Galaxy. The kindness he was shown at the end made the alliance itself blessed. Which is the gayest ending ever. The nords invented anal lube. This is my conclusion. THE END

  • Zirnitra
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Apr 28 2021 11:12 am

What a story. Now we know. Fantastic read Canshow. Not sure if your more salty than Orion’s balls. Miss you mate.

  • Hehdhdh
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Apr 28 2021 11:42 am

LMAO! Im pissing myself at work!